The Bliss of Not Being

So we had our last visit with the San Diego Regional Center on Friday and we're happy to report that Tre is no longer eligible to be a consumer (their word for client) which means he has passed all their evaluations with no problems popping up. There were concerns from a brain bleed he had as a preemie that he might has some mild retardation (that is such an ugly word in my opinion) from it but all he has is a few development delays that we are addressing with his school and teacher. I am tremendously relieved to be honest. I lived with the worry from my own childhood that somehow it would leave a scar on me that wouldn't heal or fade with time and to have one less thing sticking with Tre is joyful bliss for me. We want him to have an many options for his future life as possible and seek to reduce the pain he may have to face. This is one less thing and we're thankful.

We just attended the annual Family Matters (as you can see I have mastered a new bit of blogging - links!) picnic on Sunday and had a blast, it was great to soak up all the alternative family vibes at the park. Tre's Grandad Don and Nana Regina were able to make it and were incredible to watch with Tre. Check out the flickr in a a bit, I'll upload some pictures from the event today or tomorrow. The Calohs (Lisa , Leng & Nani) were also there and all the families we've met here in San Diego. I was constantly thrilled at seeing families like my own all around me. To be able to say to Tre "Look she has so many daddies too!" I have an incredible sense of pride from being some of the first of the Queerspawn (last one I promise) here in San Diego. My dad jokingly said he should get an award or something or at least an honorable mention since he was a single gay dad before the trend hit. I couldn't agree more. 

Many of you have heard me say this in one form or another but my father is my hero. He was the single force in my life that gave me hope, dignity and the trust to live again. I am eternally thankful for all the things that my life is not due to the presence of Don. I am not alone, I am not ashamed of who I am and I am not nor ever will be without a family to support and love me. I believe in miracles because I have experienced one and I will not ever forget the grace and compassion that my father has bestowed upon me.

In the fashion of all good circles I am now back at a beginning with my own son (though not a single parent - more bliss) and knowing that this is where my father once was. I am blessed again with not being unaware of what impact I could have on Tre's life and I feel prepared. I've seen this moment before and I know what to do.

Thank you Papa.