The Whirlwind Subsides

*GASP*

So Christmas has come and gone for us here at the Zoo with a great deal of joy and a large sense of relief. We have had our 1st Christmas with the Boy and it was awesome. We have all been waiting for children to be in our lives and while we've loved Nani and have been blessed to have her in our lives; it was a different experience to watch our son (some day as I will explain later in the post) learn our rituals/customs around the holiday. He was excited to watch the house transform around him with the decorations and the tree going up. While it was exhilarating to experience I think we're all glad to on the other side and relaxing in the New Year.

With Tre here we've scaled down our parties and events this year. We had a small gathering over to decorate the tree instead of the big party we usually have and dinner on Christmas Eve was just family and immediate friends so that the Boy could get use to it. He had a great time though there were times it was confusing for him. There's a lot you can take for granted as normal but you become introspective and realize how strange it all is explaining it to a 4 year old boy.  He had lots of questions.

"That's a tree in the living room?"

"Yes it's called a Christmas tree."

"Will the Grinch take it?"

"No not this one."

"I can't jump on the tree?"

"No."

"Those presents are for me?"

"Not all of them, some are."

"Some presents are for me?"

"Yes."

I will try to upload some more photos to Flickr over the next week or so. We have shots from the tree decorating, Christmas Eve dinner and of course opening presents so keep an eye out. We got together with Tre's former foster mother Lynn for a dinner and had an informal party with other parents who had adopted children from Lynn's home. It was both wonderful and strained at times to juggle our the different threads of our new family but my hope is that at the end of the day the Boy will have a better sense of personal history by having all the parts of his life there in a seamless flow of events. One of the things I was always grateful to my dad for was allowing my past to exist in my present. 

Tre's .26 hearing was on the 16th and it was less than inspiring for us. They have deferred his hearing for 75 days (so March) since his birth mother has been difficult about picking up her notification papers. We also got a little scare when his birth father contacted Tre's social worker asking to see how his case was going. Apparently he was told that Tre was returning to his birth mother's custody and when he found out it was not the case he threatened to fight the adoption in court. After I calmed down it was clear that he had little chance of actually getting custody and as it turned out he never showed at the actual hearing or sent a representative. So we're obviously disappointed by the court's decision and struggling to keep an objective opinion about Tre's biological family. The upshot for us legally is that he is fast approaching the 6 month mark of being placed with us which means we can file to become DeFacto Parents which will give us a few more rights and a voice in the court proceedings. Silver lining is what we have to strive for in this process, wish us luck.

New Year's Eve was also kept small and intimate rather than the large party we usually have. We went to one of our favorite Chinese restaurant for dinner and the Boy was in rare form. He is usually a timid eater, always looking for the familiar foods ( macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers etc) but he was into trying new foods left and right. He dived into the wonton soup, went for the salt and pepper chicken and was asking to try dishes as they came out. When they went home and watched movies for awhile. At midnight we watched the ball dropped, toasted and then tucked him into bed. We have decided to have a big Lunar New Year's party with friends and family since I still love to have large gatherings. Frankly, we think he needs to get use to our style of entertaining so we'll take it in little bits here and there.

The excitement is slowly building over Baby X, in the next weeks or so we should know the gender of the wee one and can actually give him/her a name. I admit I have been having trouble getting as sentimental about the X yet, I think is large part due to having Tre right here in my life. I think that when him/her is actually born and sitting in front of us I'll have the rush of feeling everyone keeps having around me. I worry a little bit when I don't seem to be in the same emotional space as most of the people around me about Baby X  but I have no worry that when presented with a newborn that I'll kick into "daddy mode". Once again I am throwing out the request for boy names - we're still looking for suggestions so feel free to pass on any favorites you might all have.

That's all for now and Happy New Year to everyone!