The second batch of papers were from his therapist Susan. When Tre came to us he was having nightmares, had a series of behaviors relating to his trauma and was unable to relate to others in a meaningful and healthy way. She is confident now in Tre's place in our lives, the nightmares have all but stopped and his is the most out going and interactive child you'll meet. It is her recommendation that therapy be discontinued until a more profound problem or issue presents itself. She points out it was our initiative that got him into the therapy in the first place and he is in a family committed to his happiness and care, that we seem set to bring Tre into our lives in every way and she does not doubt our ability to continue to do so.
The last batch of papers is from his own social worker, the reports of her monthly visits to our home where Tre has been living for over 6 months. In them it states that he seems attached and is making the transition very well. That we have made his comfort and happiness a priority in our lives and that our extended family fully supports us and accepts his place in our lives as our soon to be adopted son. It lists all the actions we've taken to help Tre address his specific issues and challenges. That we have petitioned the courts to be De Facto parents, and that we have set up a plan that in the case of our untimely deaths that our family be contacted to ensure Tre remains with them but still the continuance was issued.
It seems his birth mother has disappeared or at least dropped below the radar so the notices they were publishing in her area to notify her of the hearing are no longer valid since she no longer lives in the area. The next action plan as they say is to do the noticing through her court appointed lawyer and meet again in May. We're less than pleased with this decision but there is little we can do than endure and see what happens next. So I am more than a little pissed off. It reminds me of all the nonsense I went through while I was in the system and while I know things are better now it still sets me off. It is clear that his birth family is taking steps to stop the adoption but for what reason we can only guess. In my better moments I think it's because no one wants to face that loss and wants to be a person declared unfit to care for their own children and she is trying in the only ways she knows or has to keep this moment from arriving. You can guess at my less than charitable thoughts regarding this situation.
So I have been avoiding posting not really wanting to get into this snarled mess of feelings but I was reminded by a friend (thanks Amber!) that people do read this blog to stay in touch and hear more about us and our emerging family so I am here doing my duty (joyful most times). Everything is going well with Siddha and in fact I am going to an appointment tomorrow to see how she's doing in her sheik little condo in Leng town which is getting smaller and smaller as she gets bigger. We keep learning how more complicated home births are when a surrogacy is involved. The last round of papers was about the things we need in order to get a birth certificate issued for her with our names on it. One example of the hoops we have to jump through includes the following: three handwritten letters (not typed and not a form letter either), each person must reside at a different residence and not be related to us, the mother or the baby or each other. They must testify to the location, time and date of Siddha's birth. Each letter must be notarized and not notarized by anyone related to us, the mother or the baby or anyone writing one of the three letters. This is a sampling of what awaits us.
So that's us right now. We have a schedule for getting the house ready for the arrival of Siddha, cleaning out rooms and making room for her and her stuff. We are planning the summer for Tre, thinking of things to do with him to try to burn off some of that inexhaustible energy he is blessed with and to make sure he gets daddy time while we adjust to the new baby. Check out Flickr since I put some more photos up last week. That's all from us and the zoo!
